When I was younger I was not the strongest baby ever in fact I could not hold myself up, so my mother and father horribly decided to throw me in a well to drown. Fortunately an extremely kind man rescued me and brought me home. Years went on eventually the kind man Perseus called me Tapanga. As I grew Perseus taught me how to fight ,defend and use a sword properly I was actually pretty good but what I didn’t know was the ghastly king Stavros was in love with me . One day I was fighting when cunning King Stavros came up to me and asked to marry me. In dismay I screeched at him” never you are a grotesque toad!” The next day king Stavros demanded that I go and find the spell to command time. If I did not he would kill Perseus…
The adventure began.
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Mr Parker & Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 12:28:01 am
Well done Isabelle. We think you have used some excellent sentence openers like we mentioned this morning. Well done for including some direct speech. You are using 'me' in a myth which should be written in third person. Remember you are not a character in the story! Does this make sense?
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mia
6/10/2014 11:55:56 pm
The magical glove
There once was a beautiful girl called Dana she had beautiful blue eyes and lovely long eyelashes and her pretty red smile shined brightly in the yellow sun. One night a man called Poseidon came to her palace and shouted Help. Dana woke up at once and quickly ran to her balcony at first Dana did not see anyone but then she saw a handsome man. nine months later a beautiful baby girl was born. They called her Cassidy. When Cassidy was eighteen she went to king Harsco’s birthday party and forgot his present. King Harsco’s said were is my present Cassidy said eh eh I will get you anything the king said if you said you will get me anything get me the magical glove.
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:18:25 am
Super effort Mia! Some great WOW words included and I like your description of Dana. Do you think you could add speech marks where needed?
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jaycee
6/10/2014 11:56:16 pm
Once a long time ago in Greece lived a teenage king named king Smarticas and his beautiful Mother Jhanea was going to have a baby boy . Nine month later a perfect baby boy was born they called him Poldecteus . King Smarticaus was furious when he heard the news and treated the new arrival as a slave . He pushed him and kicked him but Poldecteus didn’t seem to care .One day when Poldecteus was about his age the king saw him playing with a brand new ball and grew jealous and grabbed a hold of him and the ball. He said to his helpless brother “ If you want to see your ball again bring me ten olives from the magical olive tree”. His helpless brother replied “ fair enough if that is your wish”. He said proudly almost like a proud peacock .
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:19:52 am
I love the part where your King was furious! I wonder why the King was jealous of Poldecteus? Could you expand his part maybe?
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Ellie
6/10/2014 11:57:42 pm
One day in Ancient Greece Zeus’s wife had a baby called Pandora she got everything in the world because Zeus was her dad. When she was older she moved out of the house where her mum and dad where living this boy called Theseus was walking down the street as soon when Pandora saw him was in love with him and when Theseus saw her he was in love to. They got together but one day Zeus found out about them being in love .Zeus was not very happy he went mad about it. Also Pandora’s mam was all right with it she was happy for them but she did not tell Zeus about it because she knew he would go mad. So Zeus said you could marry her if you go and get the magic mirror. Theseus agreed as fast as a bull. But Zeus knew he would not come back and marry Pandora .Pandora was not happy about this what Zeus had set him to do because she knew how dangerous. So Pandora helped him to get the magic mirror because he wanted to hear people’s secrets.
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:21:43 am
This has all of the right elements to make a good myth Ellie. You have thought carefully about the order of the events in the beginning of a myth and I like the idea of a magic mirror. Remember to really think about the story being set in Ancient Greece though.
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Leanne
6/10/2014 11:59:22 pm
Lukeus And The Celeveclaudeous
A very long time ago in Ancient Greece there lived a mean king called King Madmantheus. He was an evil, cruel and fierce man who would lock you up in the acropolis if you do not obey his orders. Anyway there was a young boy called lukeus whose parents had unfortunately died a few years ago so he lived alone in a rubbish dump. But you would of thought Lukeus was a very feeble young man, well he was not. He was like a bull in a china shop and could also fight his own battles but his dream present was a sword.
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:23:10 am
Some super words carefully chosen to describe your character's personality in your myth. Why was his dream present a sword? Does the mean King want the sword as well?
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Joyce
7/10/2014 06:34:35 pm
I think you have used great openers
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danielle
6/10/2014 11:59:54 pm
The magic book
There once was an evil queen known by the name Elisabeth. She was feared by everyone in the kingdom. She is as mean as a cat killing a bird. On the other side of Greece there lived a woman called Danna and her son Kevin. Kevin and his mam lived an easy life until one day the evil queen summand them. The evil queen walked over to them but Kevin stepped in the way and said “get away from her “pushing her away from his mam. “I mean no harm” said Elisabeth in a sweet voice. “I only want to invite you to my feast” she said. Kevin said since when where you nice. “don’t push it” said the queen. Kevin walked in the feast room with his mother . “Kevin where is your gift “said the king Kevin said what can I give you anything in the world the king paused then said anything
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:25:13 am
This is a really good effort Danielle. I really like the part where the Queen was feared by everyone in the kingdom. A really good attempt at using speech marks and describing how the characters are speaking 'sweetly'. Can you think of any other words than said?
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Joyce
7/10/2014 12:02:10 am
Tomoskyus and the bravery deeds
Far ,far away on the islands of Greece resides King Krobius. King Krobius is a selfish ,envious man ,who wears beautiful clothes made out of the finest most softest silk you can buy in the whole of Greece! Every year he demands every knight in the kingdom to set out his challenge’s and dares and if they came back empty handed Krobius get as frantic as a wild horse and then he would do what he did to the previous knight he would chop of his head with a knife as sharp as a lion and a tigers claw combined together.But one day came a man who was determined to put a stop to this and find the shimmering reward waiting for him.
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:27:12 am
Some super language and phrases chosen Joyce. I don't think I would like to meet this King he sounds very scary! I wonder what the shimmering reward will be? Any ideas anyone?
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Peter
7/10/2014 12:04:29 am
Once there lived a girl called Lilly she had a father called Posiden .All of a sudden she came to see her father but he grabbed her by the arm and locked her in a cage. Suddenly the kind king Heracles fell in love with her and came down as a star two months later a baby boy was born they called him Theseus he grew up to be a tall handsome and protective man. King Minos roared with rage he summoned Lily and Theseus to court.
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:28:36 am
I love the part where King Minos roared with rage. I can just hear him now! Do you think 'Suddenly' is the best opener for that sentence?
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Maisie
7/10/2014 12:05:03 am
There once was a village In Crete, ruled by a cruel and evil queen: Esmarelda. She controlled the land with terror and wroth. Many feared her so badly that they actually left their land. But there was a few people who had been living in this horrid village since they were born. Two of those people were married and had a baby. They called her Elana. But she was not a normal girl. She had powers.
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:30:16 am
How was Elena special? Was she half God? Can you expand a little bit more on what the cruel and evil Queen was so feared for. Good use of language Maisie.
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William
7/10/2014 12:05:09 am
During the deep frosted winter there once lived a evil villain called the Voodoo man. The voodoo man lived on the coldest and most dangerous mountain in the world that was about to break and fall into the volcano of doom. So once he shook his rattle and the told his best and most powerful weapon to bring over the magical cupboard. This was able to suck people in and turn them into stone and spit them back out. Once there was a poor boy called Han’s that had heard about this and most definitely not very happy about this and wanted to do something about it. This w-as as dangerous as a volcano about to erupt his mother tried to stop him!
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Mrs Gray
7/10/2014 04:31:40 am
Good use of WOW words in your opening WIlliam. What was so special about Hans? How could you further develop the hero in this opening paragraph?
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Ryan
8/10/2014 06:22:48 pm
Idorious and The crystal sock
Whilst staring in horror at the scary creature in front of him he had the words,”your daughter will spell your doom”. Idorious had just enough time to Bellow the words “FIND ME THE RING OF DESTINY NOW PLEASE? “. “Why should I do what you want me to do! ” Twenty seconds later Hermes messenger of the gods appeared and announced you must bring me the head of the dragon tagetaus. “Consider it done” replied Idorious. Who was off like a brave lion . “How can he do this” muttered the crowd in discontent”
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Kerys
8/10/2014 06:24:13 pm
Pomera and Mpanather
One marvellous night in ancient Greece high up on a rocky hill in Create there was a gigantic palace. In the palace lived an extraordinary and beautiful princess named Dnariall (Mpanathers sister). Dnariall wished she had a baby girl she prayed and pleaded with the gods wishing for a baby. Suddenly one fateful night the almighty god Apollo visited her Dnariall wondered in curiosity why he had visited her. Then suddenly in a voice like silk Apollo announced “Dnariall I want to make a deal with you if I give you a baby you will have to train it to be a worrier and send it to kill Mpanather” “deal” shouted Dnariall . 9 months later a baby girl was born on that day a festival was held it was called the festival of Apollo and the baby. Everyone was full of delight and joy meanwhile Mpanather was raging after one of her slave ghosts mumbled “your sister had a baby!” Mapanathers face lit up red as if she was a candle.
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Lewis
8/10/2014 06:24:23 pm
Terrrousus vs.skullosus
One day in the land of Sparta they lived a vigorous, young man named terosus. He was possibly the most powerful man in the Spartan army at the time [because Alexander the great was the strongest] a few years later he rode on his horse to Mt Olympus. Why you ask? Well the previous day he received a letter from Hermes [the messenger of the gods]sent him a letter saying the following saying “Dear Terrousus I have written to inform you that I am very frustrated at an event that just occurred over the past few days . I need to obtain the head of the skullosus [urgently!] signed Zeus.
When he arrived he panted rapidly just then he seen the raging face of Zeus. His panting soon turned to sadness “my lord why are you like this” replied Terrousus “because in the cave of darkness skullosus found the magical growth potion he roared “luckily I recovered the armour of growth so you can defeat him” soon Terrousus put on the armour of Growth and set off on his quest. On his route he wet a beautiful woman named the princess of skullosus [what a creative name] met him and they both immediately fell in love.
Danea was expecting a beautiful baby; she was going to be called Asbiana. Asbiana will of had an ugly older sister who raged because she thought she was the only child, Asbiana grew up to be a beautiful young youth. Asbiana’s sister was called Arianna. Arianna threw a party and Asbiana came because it is Arianna’s sister and sisters are supposed to love each other but they don’t really love each other because Asbiana looks better than Arianna, Arianna did not like that. Arianna sent Asbiana on a tricky mission. Calmly, God Aphrodite told Asbiana to get the Crystal cup to figure out Arianna’s secrets out. As a result her reward would be a diamond from the mesmerising Crystal Cup!
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Cody
8/10/2014 06:25:38 pm
Aphrodite and Asdiana search for the gold
Aphrodite wanted Asdiana to go out on a quest for some GOLD!!! But Asdiana had to cross a dangerous stream and defeat a dragon. The dragon was very deadly and it could kill any one. Well anyway she set off on her quest . she reached the stream but she did not know how to get across it suddenly she spotted a vine and reached over for it and she finally got it .when she grabbed hold of it she got a good grip of it then she swung over the other side of the stream. Then she went to defeat the dragon the dragon was quite weak. She found the dragon but it was asleep and it could smell her and it woke him up. Asdiana got her sword silently, she quickly stabbed him under the count of 3.she entered the hiding spot and got the shiny, beautiful, sparkly GOLD!!! As soon as she got it she said good bye gold and set off back to the beautiful god Aphodite. Aphrodite was so pleased with her she give Asdiana most of the gold she really deserved it a lot…well done Asdiana for your bravery. When Asdiana came back Aphrodite and they others surprised her with a celebration of her return.
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Leona-mae
8/10/2014 06:25:53 pm
Athena and the Golden ring!
Athena wanted the ring of power. So she sent her out on a quest but it wasn’t going to be easy .There was challenges along the way .After about five minutes a messenger flew down and gave Amtwa a crystal cup and a sword .Despite, it being an interminable journey she got there and there were lots of malignant lions waiting for her. Suddenly, she ran towards the vicious lion’s .all of a sudden, she froze the lions with the crystal cup. Then she crossed the bridge of terror (it was not easy), because if you look down you would die. After 11 minutes she reached the Uino’s layer. Luckily, the Uino was a sleep so she sensed her chance and cut the Uino’s head off. She looked around for the golden ring. When she found it she ran back to the castle and gave Athena the head of the beautiful Uino,and the ring of power.
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Tymek
8/10/2014 06:26:06 pm
One day a long time ago in Greece lived an inadequate king who ruled the island of Crete. Strategically, this king planned a cunning war against Athens (the capital of Greece) so he could destroy and takeover the whole of Greece (his name was Geraldes). Meanwhile up above in the heavens Ares was shouting in dismay, “I need to get someone to destroy his army”, he thought. A few days later, the god of war saw a young gallant man walking down the road he flew down and insisted “young man I require the armour of Fortitude as soon as possible are you willing to undertake a quest full of potential peril”. The young man named Tymekius was absolutely full of shock. Eventually Tymekuis answered “yes ok”, he spluttered. Ares was telling him about how the superb item was guided by a deleterious creature which was called Chargos. Later on Ares told him how the young man would also have to pass the ruins of atrociousness and swamps of death. The next day Tymekuis set on the dangerous voyage once he got to the end of the city he realised that he didn’t know where he was going.
All of a sudden he felt an extremely strong pull, it was the magic compass pulling fiercely to the East and that’s where he went. Meanwhile the delinquent king was bragging to his guards “I have double the number of their men”.
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Brian
8/10/2014 06:26:39 pm
Once on a house on a hill there was a young man named Rebbon one day he went to sleep and something woke him up. It was Zeus he said “please can you get me the golden slippers from the king ill pay you”. So Rebbon went out to the crystal palace to find the king (not the place the palace) . A few minutes later Rebbon arrived at the Crystal Palace. He said to the king” please can you give me your golden slippers” the king just raged “CHEAKY I’ll give you the slippers if you get me the leg of Gougles”. In addition he decided to go and slay Gougles On the way he met Zeus messengers who gave him a glove and a sword a special sword the sword of doom.
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Amy
8/10/2014 06:28:56 pm
Leontra and the Wolf of Wonder
Athena’s blue eyes flew open when some abominable news was explained to her. THE WOLF OF WONDER WASN’T DEAD! It was precarious now that The Wolf of Wonder wasn’t dead. Suddenly, Athena had a plan she needed someone to get the head of the terrifying wolf because of 2 reasons: 1 she needed to get into the island of Skulious because that was a secret land, 2 because the mesmerising world would be in danger. Just at that moment, Athena saw a girl named Leontra. Athena flew down to her and asked her “will you help me get the head of the Wolf of wonder, Leontra replied ‘yes’ but then said “what’s the Wolf of Wonder?”. Athena explained what the mysterious creature was. After that, Athena then told Leontra how to get to the unknown Wolf. “First you must get past the Machiavellian Jaguars but you MUST use the crystal Wolf. Secondly you will have to get past rocky the bridge but you MUST use the Jaguars. Then you will come to the long corridor which when you walk along it you will come to the Wolf of Wonder. You MUST use my spear to kill it. As fast as lightning you must kill it before it gets a hold of you. If you follow these instructions and kill the wolf, you will get to be a God and have 5 things you want.
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Sarah
8/10/2014 06:32:41 pm
Mertheus and the Hipparinosacow
Trembling outside the Greek village, this terrible monster was prowling around waiting for its prey in the middle of the night, it was known as the Hipparinosacow. Meanwhile a young man was asleep and was dreaming about Alexandra the great and all his perils quests and after a couple of days later he then made up his mind and set of the to the king. “PLEASE! King Nebulas, I want to do some good, PLEASE! ”he cried “Get off of me you filthy dog!” he wailed “ugh ,go and please the goddess-Artemis ,she will help you bring good into the world ,now get out before I change my mind” with that Mertheus scampered off the king whispered to himself “foolish boy, she’ll probley kill him for wasting her valuable time ,ha,ha,ha! ”It was until then he came to a pathway of choice.
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Mr Parker
8/10/2014 11:07:16 pm
Well done Ryan I like your simile,time connective openers and direct speech.Make sure you haven't forgotten any commas and try opening a sentence with an adverb.e.g. Suddenly,...
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Mr Parker
8/10/2014 11:12:43 pm
Well done Kerys for including brackets,time words and direct speech.Are you missing any commas by your direct speech?
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Mr Parker
8/10/2014 11:18:19 pm
Super use of vocabulary (e.g.obtain), adverbs (e.g.luckily) and powerful verbs (e.g.roared).Could you try to open one of your sentences with a simile or an emotion?
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Mr Parker
8/10/2014 11:27:57 pm
You've remembered capitals for names and you have used a adverb opener Kaci. You have also used 'as a result' cleverly.Could you include some time words to link your sentences?
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Mr Parker
8/10/2014 11:33:16 pm
Well done Cody on using adverbs effectively (e.g.suddenly,silently).Could you include some direct speech occasionally to increase the readers interest?
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Katie and Leona
17/10/2014 11:22:01 pm
Great myths
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