Please make sure you check your work through for the use of correct punctuation. Try to make it a descriptive piece that will capture the readers attention.
When I was playing out with my friends we were having alot of fun until one of my friends said"what are the colours of the rainbow"I said"I am not sure I have not seen one for a long time." We started thinking of the different colours by singing the song red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue so that gave us the order of the colours.We decided to play football and we were doing lots of running around when one of my friends shouted look up! can you see the rainbow and the colours we have sang about.We all cheered because we had got the order of the colours right.
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katie
18/3/2014 02:26:16 am
hi I am Katie and my friend is called Mia and we love space tonight Mia is sleeping over mine. Also I got a telescope for my birthday so me and Mia are going to look through it tonight so we did we were looking for stars. We waited for hours and hors and hours until we fell asleep then we heard a shot Katie Mia come down stairs there is some thing in the sky look up? Can you see a shooting star lets make a wish so we did and we were really proud.
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Emily
18/3/2014 05:05:54 am
Me and Paige were getting a new pet we were deciding what to get and what to call it then Paige said to me let's get a kitten that's a good idea I said to Paige what should we call it I said hmmmmm I know let's call it fudge hmm ok that will be a good name for it so we went to pick up our new kitten it was late at night so mum had to pick us up when we got home we went to bed then in the morning we were looking for it everywhere look up can you see it it was on the roof because the dog was scaring it we got him down and kept him in our sight
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Sol
19/3/2014 05:31:08 am
Last year I went to the Sunderland air show with my Dad, Mam and Brother. We sat patiently on the top of the turf above the beach. I could hear the other planes above me whizzing round but I wanted to see the Red Arrows. It seemed like forever and then my Dad shouted “Sol, look up! Can you see the Red Arrows approaching.” I was delighted, they were only little dots but within seconds they were overhead spitting out there multicoloured smoke (red, white and blue). It was one of the most amazing sights I had ever seen and I wasn't going to forget it!
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Mackayla
19/3/2014 06:05:13 am
Last weekend my Dad Vinny and I went camping.First of all we drove one hour and a half to the campsite we set up camp and had our lunch.Then we went for a walk along a parth we came to a lovely river Vinny and I spent the afternoo paddling and fishing. Dad said it was time to head back to camp so we did, Vinny and I played ball while Dad cooked tea we had paster and hot dogs.It was getting dark so we climed in our bivi bags and Dad said look up!can you see the sooting star Dad told us to make a wish.
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Xavier
19/3/2014 06:20:39 pm
Over the summer holidays, we went to stay at my Aunts enormous country house with my four cousins, Jamel, Gabriel, Ishmael and Lucas. One night we snook downstairs, the house was eerily dark and a faint odour of last night’s curry hung in the air. All five of us crept into the living room where the floor boards creaked. Then we turned on the Play station, the mixed colours of the background appeared, but seemed strangely darker than usual. Once we had started playing, I felt a drip on my head, I shouted,” look up! Can you see, its IBOLISTICSQUID!!"
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Grace
20/3/2014 03:36:25 am
One sunny morning me and Emily were playing in our back garden. First we jumped on the trampoline and then I played on my roller skates while Emily was listening to music. My Mam asked us " Do you want an ice lolly". Me and my sister rushed in the house to get refreshments. After a while we went back outside and saw a beautiful colourful bird flying in the sky. I said "look up! Can you see". I quickly took a picture to capture the memory. We had a great day playing together at home!
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Matthew
20/3/2014 03:44:02 am
It was a bleak Sunday afternoon in March. I was having a kick around with my football with my friends on the sports field. It was very over cast and a bit chilly. The trees surrounding the sports field were swaying as the wind started to get stronger. Just as one of my friends was going to boot the ball into the goal he stopped suddenly. I asked him what was the matter, he said he was sure he could hear thunder, but I wasn't to sure. We started to pack our things away and began to set off home incase it was a storm on the way. It was at that point I saw it, I told my friend it wasn't thunder after all. He asked me how I was so sure.......... "LOOK UP!!!.......... CAN YOU SEE."......... I said, as a massive black helicopter broke out of the clouds and flew over the sports field.
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liam
25/3/2014 05:00:40 am
I was locking up in the sky and then I saw a plan so low that it nearly crash's and me and konrad said "WOW! that is so close" it was a 2 D jet it nearly hit a house and and nearly turned a sweet house into a flaming house "ha ha ha!!! that was funny as when you fell out that tree" ye ye konrad I know all about that" how I thaught you fogot all that now" are you being serious" no" what is wrong .
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Mrs Dodds
26/3/2014 02:39:48 am
Well done Liam, remember to heck your work through before submitting to check for mistakes.
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Mrs Dodds
26/3/2014 02:41:17 am
Well done Matthew some great description, I especially like the 'bleak afternoon', well done.
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Mrs Dodds
26/3/2014 02:42:09 am
Good use of speech well done Grace.
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Mrs Dodds
26/3/2014 02:42:39 am
Good use of description well done.
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Mrs Dodds
26/3/2014 02:43:26 am
Sounds like you have a lovely time with dad, well done.
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Mrs Dodds
26/3/2014 02:44:06 am
Lovely use of description well done Sol.
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